Random Thoughts

It has been several months since my last post. It isn't that I haven't had things to say, I've just been super busy. I was reading my previous posts and some of them made me laugh and some made me sad. The ups and downs we have experienced lately in the last few months we never saw coming but thank the Lord He has shown us through.

I have felt the tug of the Lord calling me to tell my testimony. I don't know why but when the Lord tells you to do something... you do it. As reluctant as I am to do this I feel my blog could be a good start to doing so. When I have the time to sit down and figure out how to write the testimony I will.

Addison is growing up big as well. He is finally going potty sometimes in the toilet. I believe this potty training thing is going to be more difficult than I expected. I sure hope we get it figured out sooner rather than later.

We have been thinking about having another child, but nothing more serious than talk. J.R. says no for sure. I keep going back and forth. I'm trying to just be content in our current situation and with our one perfect little boy. I'm very much still enjoying being a stay at home mom but I do miss the money some days. Thank God we have all our needs met and for this I am thankful. Just last night Addison and I made a fort in the living room and he had so much fun. I would love a house full of bouncing boys. I think some days it isn't that I want another baby it is that I just don't want Addison to grow up.

End of Randomness

Thoughts... I suppose from an aching heart.

I am sitting here after church on a Sunday night and I am tired. I have been working very hard for over a month now with the move and getting packed and then unpacked and settled. I'm hoping by the end of this week I will have EVERYTHING put in its place. I'm very excited about the future here in Cairo. The people seem very nice and caring. It is a wonderfully, blessed change. I think about our past churches often. It seems like a lot has changed since I married J.R. in 2006. We have been through ups and downs, we have been at three different churches, we have had our first child, lived through a tornado, owned 6 vehicles (ha) and moved twice. What a life! I've seen friends come and I have seen them go. It never gets any easier to be the best friend you can be to someone and never get those results in return. Isn't so wonderful to know that even when you give to a relationship and get no results, it isn't the same with God. He is always there. ALWAYS. He always has time for you. He doesn't make plans and then change them on you. He doesn't ignore you. He is my best friend. Some days I feel He is my only friend and I am ok with that. I've learned to trust in Him so much more since having Addison. I don't know why being a mother brought me that much closer to God, but I am so happy it did.

I read a blog today of a girl who had trouble getting pregnant. I could feel her pain as I read. She is someone I know, but never knew what she went through to get where she is now. Sometimes we think saying things out loud will make others look down on us or feel sorry for us. I wish we could all be open like the Lord is to us. Couldn't we all just sit and listen with an open heart and a shoulder like we claim we have. Instead when someone calls in need of a friend we get ill cause it isn't convient for us or we ignore the person all together. I try my best not to treat others this way and I pray that I never do. If I do, I hope others will call me on it. I feel Christ wouldn't want us to treat each other the way we do. J.R. and I were laying in bed last night and talking about Addison being 18 years old and still sleeping in the bed with us and wanting to be toted. It is funny to talk about these things, but in all reality I wonder if I will even see him to grow to be 18 yrs. old. The world is so awful and each day it gets worse and worse and I just can't see God putting up with it much longer.
When will we all really love each other? I mean REALLY love? It is the question I have on my heart tonight, what about you?

Life Ever Changing

It has been such a long time since my last post. It has been a really rough year. On April 29, 2011 we went through a tornado in the middle of the night. I think that has to be the scariest thing I have been apart of so far in my life. Addison is getting bigger and growing like a weed. He is the best little boy in the world. I recently got to quit my job and become a stay at home mom. I am loving it so far. To get to the point, I just want to talk about us moving, again. God has called us to a new church called Cairo Baptist in Ecru, MS. I am excited and looking forward to this new move. It is so sad to see our current members at Cumberland taking things so personal. Don't get me wrong, they aren't all acting this way. There are many that are so sweet and I can honestly tell they care about us and know God is in this, but there are some that I feel could care less because for some reason they think us leaving is a personal thing. It is not. Leaving a church is so hard for this reason. It is hard to love everyone like we do and then up and leave. I wish they could all understand that it is hard, but it is really hard on us to. I don't think people actually realize how hard moving from church to church is on a pastor's family. It is really amazing to me how God works and takes care of us.

I have heard the question asked so many times, "What is wrong?" Well to be honest, nothing! When God opens a door and tells you to go through - you do it. It doesn't mean something is wrong when you leave a church. It just means God has called you to do His work somewhere else. If I could get in front of the crowd at church I would tell them this. All the hurt and pain we have experienced some will never really know. It is something that I guess you would say went on behind the scenes but God took care of all that. He is still in control. I would encourage all people in the church to be kind to those in authority and especially those in authority's family. Your actions and words can cut someone really deep. For example, I was told I wasn't acting like a preacher's wife when I deleted someone off my Facebook for putting things I considered inappropriate on their site. I chose to do this because I wanted to see the BEST in everyone. Facebook can be used for so much good but I have also seen how it can be used for so much bad as well. In this same "group" of "Christians" I was also called spoiled and lazy as they gossiped outside a church service. I know I am NOT spoiled and lazy. I have worked since I was fourteen years old. I was raising my little brother when I was 9 years old. I got him to school, cooked his suppers, made him bath, etc. I put myself through school. I never had anything handed to me on a platter. My parents were druggies and alchoholics. Even to this day, I am not even sure they have the capacity to even put anyone or anything above themselves. I find the statement of me being lazy and spoiled to be simply humourus. Maybe if you (gossipers) would sit down and get to know someone before judging them then you'd see what they are all about. I speak this for more than those that said this about me. I ask anyone that gossips about anyone to please don't judge someone when you don't know them. God asks us not to judge. It isn't our place. I also remember being told I don't act like a Christian. I really do not know how to approach this subject. I guess the worse thing you could ever say to me would be that you don't appear to be Christ like. I strive daily to please God. He is the reason I am here. If I ever showed anyone anything different than I am truly sorry. I never want to ruin my witness for the Almighty.

I don't write this for anyone to feel sorry for me. I write this so others can be aware that if attacka like these can happen in our small churches then we should be aware of the evil being allowed within. As Christians, we need to take a stand and reach out. I tried reaching out to the very one that hurt me the most and was told I was being nosey and yet again I was a lousy preacher's wife. I can't change their words or actions but I can pray for them. God still has it on my heart to pray for them and people like them. We are only here to serve God! What else would we even be here for? I love you Father. I am here to Serve you and if you'll have me... please USE ME.